I hate these. Okay, how about this? I'm a long haired country boy libertarian from Alabama. I believe that the federal government is too damn big. I believe that humans are part of nature. I believe that you can get there from here, but only if you take the shortcut behind the fish market and turn left. I believe that the sexiest part of a human being is their mind (although it looks silly in fishnet stockings). I believe that bumper stickers do not constitute a political belief system. I believe that you should be able to eat, drink, smoke, snort or marry who or what ever you please, and it's no one else's damn business, thank you very much. I believe that I'll have fries with that. I believe that the desire to force other people to do as we think fit is a hanging offense. I believe that liberals and conservatives are waaaaaay more alike than different. I believe that salad is not food - salad is something that food eats. Conversely, I believe that if won't take responsibility for your own actions and kill it yourdamnself (or at least be willing to), you've no business eating it. And I believe that this has gone on long enough.